Counting small miracles. Expecting large blessings.



Thursday, December 17, 2009

Not always a walk in the park...

Being a 'new' mommy (even the second time around) is amazing. You forget how tiny they are, how sweet they are, how every yawn and goo is the cutest thing ever... You also forget the effects of sleep deprivation and those 2 a.m. fussy spells.

So lets be honest about it. Being a mom is wonderful. But is it always a walk in the park? Absolutely not. After I had Bella I got a nice little case of the 'baby blues'. And yes, that's a real term, you can google it! Basically you feel like you aren't doing things right, you feel helpless and frustrated, and you cry a lot. When Bella was born I chalked it up to the fact that I'd never taken care of a newborn before and lets face it, with your first one you really don't know what you're doing. People can say all they want about 'mothers instinct'. Instinct, my foot! Instinct only carries you so far, after that its just a learning experience and you do the best you can.

So this time around I felt better prepared. And I was. I was completely comfortable with Abby from the moment they put her in my arms. I didn't freak out when she screamed for an hour. I didn't worry if she didn't finish her bottle, or if she drank it all and still acted hungry...things like that that will sometimes worry you the first time around.

What I didn't factor into the equation was Arabella! And Arabella has decided that she no longer wants to stay in her bed at naptime or bedtime. She pitches immortal fits! And yes, I've tried everything. I've tried spanking, I've tried a switch (no people, using a switch on your kid's leg is not child abuse: spare the rod spoil the child and all that!), I've tried taking away her Dora dvds, I've tried just putting her quietly back to bed over and over.

I know part of her bad behavior may be because of our new arrival. But we have made a conscious effort to show Bella lots of attention, and talk about what a good big sister she is, and let her love on the baby when she wants to.

A couple of days ago the stress and lack of sleep added up and here came the baby blues! So I've spent a couple of days being very frustrated and crying a lot! I talked to the pediatrician today and her advice was to put up a baby gate across Bella's bedroom doorway, tell her goodnight, put her to bed, and don't go back in there! Dr. Kitchens said, "She may even sleep on the floor a night or two, that's fine, as long as you don't have to go back in that room." So I'm going to give it a try as nothing else has worked. My only concern is that she'll empty all her drawers or something...I wouldn't put it past her!

But we have to try something, otherwise my frustration is going to continue getting the better of me, and I don't like that at all.

On the up side, I put 'big girl' panties on Bella three days ago and she has done so well! We put her little potty chair in the living room, since that's where she usually plays. That way it's close by when she needs to go. The first two days she had a couple of accidents. Then yesterday morning she got up and used the potte all day without me even prompting her! I was so thrilled, and told her all day how proud I was of her! We've even made a couple trips in the car without accidents, although I have a towel in the bottom of her carseat just in case. I guess it really is true that they'll do it when they're good and ready! I sure won't be sorry to leave the pull-ups behind!

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